Back in July, I shared here that our family had entered an unanticipated time of transition. I had encountered such a disagreement with the elders at our little church in Grove City that I felt compelled to resign.

A lot has happened in the four months since that last update—many good things, even as we wait to discern what God has for us after this school year…

My wife was offered and accepted a full-time teaching job at a small K–8 Catholic school in Greenville, about 35 minutes away. She is also teaching Phys Ed in addition to Music, to fill out the position into full-time. The pay is about what you’d expect for a rural parish school, but we are grateful for it, and she now has insurance through that job. She’s taught private music lessons and some TESOL courses, but this is her first time back in full-time teaching since Daniel was born (2010)! The school is under-resourced, but it is a cheerful and supportive Christian environment, and there are good colleagues and students.

After finishing my duties at Center Church at the end of July, I (Benj) took a per diem position as a hospice chaplain back in August. I am now fully trained and working one day per week, visiting hospice patients in several facilities ranging about a 40-minute drive from Grove City. This is a different kind of ministry than I am used to, and it takes its emotional toll—a friend who did this type of ministry said there is very high turnover in hospice chaplaincy. But I have a good mentor: the full-time chaplain and bereavement coordinator who has been doing this for 12 years—so I am in good hands. This job will continue to be about one day’s worth of visits per week, depending on the needs.

At the encouragement of the Presbytery, we have undertaken a process known as “Refuge Church” in coordination with PIR Ministries. The mission of PIR is to help pastors who have left their previous call in not-so-good circumstances, to help them find refuge and healing in a safe church, in order to be strengthened for the next ministry call. In God’s Providence, we have connected at Grace Anglican Church here in Grove City, and they have agreed to be our “Refuge Church” for a period of time. Grace has several priests and staff members, but has written a job description of part-time “pastor-in-residence” for me, outlining ways that I will partner with their staff and do some ministry that amounts to about 15 hours/week. We will have a small group “care team” that will encourage and support us in the next 6-12 months as we discern what is next.

Part of my responsibilities recognized by Grace Anglican will be my continuing teaching for a seminary in South Asia (name withheld for security reasons). I have been teaching remotely for this institution since Summer 2022, and they have invited me to teach two Master of Theology courses in 2023-24: Intro to Biblical Interpretation, and Hebrew Exegesis of Isaiah 40-55. I plan to travel to South Asia in March for the first time, to meet with the students, teach and lecture, and build relationships. These students mainly come from India and Myanmar, including places where Christians are persecuted. In my current course, four of the students come from Manipur, where there has been persecution and violence against Christians since May. One of my students wrote a great paper on the history of interpretation of “imprecatory” (cursing) psalms (e.g., Pss 109; 137); I asked him if this was a “live issue” in his heart and in his churches back home, and he replied that it certainly was. Please pray for Christians to stand firm under persecution, to love their enemies, and that their enemies would be drawn to Christ through displays of love and forgiveness. 

The seminary can provide accommodations for my visit, but they cannot pay salaries for visiting professors. As part of the Refuge Church agreement, my part-time salary for my seminary teaching and my Grace Anglican ministry needs to be covered by donations (up to $18,000 between now and June 2024). We are inviting friends and supporters to partner with us in this way, as Corrie’s salary and my chaplaincy do not cover all of our financial needs. Instructions on how to give can be found here: giffonefamily.com/give

I continue to look for other ways to work, in ministry and non-ministry sorts of jobs. I’ve helped friends and my brother with one-off jobs in roofing, house-painting, and laying carpet–learning new skills. Corrie and I have led worship at a weekend camp and at another EPC church, and I’ve preached at a local ECO church. I am in talks with another church about a half-hour away about doing more regular pulpit supply for them.

Amidst it all, we have seen the Holy Spirit’s encouraging hand upon our lives in other ways. I had the blessing of seeing my second book (substantially finished in 2021!) finally come to print, and had time to move the ball forward on some other writing projects, to bless the church and to stay sharp so I can supervise those grad students in India. Through my continuing affiliation with Stellenbosch I have funding to travel to conferences next week to present a paper, and see some colleagues I haven’t seen in a while (last ETS or SBL conference I attended was 2018!). 

We celebrated Corrie’s 40th birthday, and her mom’s 70th birthday. We met my baby niece, Aviva, in NJ. We’ve enjoyed spending time with brother and his family here in town. Our kids are doing well; Daniel played soccer for the school team, and basketball practices begin this week. Elizabeth has great friends at school and in the neighborhood.

Overall, we are thankful for this time of healing, and the chance to learn many things. We thought that God had called us to Grove City for a particular purpose, but now it’s clear that there is some other reason we are here–and God is gradually showing that to us, at least for the next eight months or so.

I recall a conversation back in 2019 with either my wife or my dep’t chair (maybe two conversations). At that time, things were very pleasant for me, professionally. I had a tenure-track academic position, with plenty of time to research whatever I wanted. I was traveling all around to present at conferences, with funding. I had the freedom and trust within my department and my institution to teach whatever courses I wanted, however I thought best, without anyone looking over my shoulder. I had great conversations with colleagues across disciplines. My students were from all over the world, smart, attractive, interesting young people with their whole lives ahead of them. I got to travel in Europe with my family, and 3.5 months “off” in the summer for research and vacation. (The response to COVID took all that away and showed a lot of things for what they really were–but that’s a discussion for another time.)

Back to this conversation in 2019: amidst all this, I had the feeling that it wasn’t healthy for me spiritually to minister in this mode exclusively, forever. I articulated it this way (to either Corrie or Steve): “I think that my next ministry needs to be to people who don’t smell good.” Since I am particularly attuned to smells, this was my way of describing people who are difficult to be with for various reasons, and don’t have themselves “all together.”

In my present situation, I find myself with a very small “flock” of people to minister to and care for: hospice patients, usually in facilities that—yes—do not smell very good. It is a challenge to spend 20-30 minutes of meaningful time with them, sharing a Scripture, praying with them, singing a hymn, listening to them—not knowing if they understand or will remember me (since many have dementia or Alzheimer’s), and not knowing if they will be alive in two weeks when the next scheduled visit comes around.

Even as I have chances to teach, preach, and lead music around this area, these are mostly one-off experiences, not knowing and possibly never seeing how God will “build” upon the sermon I preach or the music we play.

But I’ve been here before: in 2015–17, when we moved back to the US to help my in-laws, and I was mostly out of academics and unable to minister at our church. That time clarified for me that I am “at my best” when I’m involved in teaching, preaching and ministry—but God is with me and uses me even when I’m not.

For now, we wait. Who knows where God will lead us next? Pray for us as we discern.